What to Write in a Christmas Card When Someone Has Death in Family
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It's easy to stress over how to handle grief. Your own emotions are hard enough, but it becomes far more adverse when a close friend or colleague is grieving. You're trying to figure out how to compassionately navigate the holiday season and provide support for someone'southward grief.
Jump ahead to these sections:
- Tips for Writing it in a Christmas Card or Email
- Tips for Saying "Merry Christmas" to Someone Experiencing Grief In-Person
In improver, you lot don't want to make them uncomfortable past tiptoeing around their emotions. But it might seem wrong to burst in with greetings of Christmas cheer when this might be a really trying fourth dimension in their life. What tin can yous say?
Share your final wishes, but in example.
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Tips for Writing it in a Christmas Card or Email
Sending out Christmas cards to friends and family is a fourth dimension-honored tradition. Just for a grieving friend, it might exist wise to do a little updating in retentivity of their loved 1.
Skip the photo card
It'south typical to include a motion-picture show of your smiling family effectually the holidays. Usually, this is a sweet memory to hang on the refrigerator, only for your grieving friend or loved ane, it might just be a painful reminder. Instead, try a bare Christmas carte du jour (we like this pack of blank cards ) with handwritten condolences and a thoughtful bulletin.
- I know this Christmas without your mom is really hard, since Christmas was her favorite vacation. Praying that you have good people to gather around you right at present, and you can notice some peace during these dark days. I wish everything healthy this Christmas season.
- It'south difficult to wish you a Merry Christmas right now when you lot probably experience anything but merry. I'm so lucky that I got the take chances to meet your son, even though I likewise miss him terribly during the holidays. I loved seeing him sing Christmas carols at church on Christmas Eve. Wishing y'all peace and good people to gather with you on this Christmas Day.
- Y'all must be feeling then many different emotions right at present. Christmas without your dad is and so hard. I'thousand and so sorry you're trying to cope with this during the holiday flavour. Praying for peace and good vibes for you and your family.
Put the focus on them
With the new year budgeted, some families take the time to review their twelvemonth. They get to share fun highlights and big milestones with extended family unit and friends that might not otherwise know.
In this case, make certain to give them the attention they need or want, and exist sensitive with your commentary about your experiences in the past year, as it could make them experience a bit sadder.
- I'm and then glad I got the opportunity to spend so much time with y'all and your married man before he passed. He was an extraordinary man, and I so wish he was hither to spend the vacation season with the states. Wishing you a Merry Christmas, even every bit you walk through these dark days.
- I'm glad I get the run a risk to host you and your family this year at my business firm. I know changing all your traditions, without your wife, is and then painful. I'm so distressing you're dealing with these nighttime times, but I'm glad I take so many memories of your married woman. She was so happy during the holiday flavor, and I'thousand glad I recall that.
- Wishing you lot and your family peace during this difficult vacation flavour. I'd dearest to bring a goulash for Christmas Eve if that's something you'd like. I'll call you subsequently this week and see if we can coordinate something.
Write an invitation
Traditions encourage yous to wish someone a Merry Christmas with a traditional menu. Merely yous can do it in other means, too. What almost an invitation to practise something else? Some people struggle to maintain their usual holiday traditions after the loss of a loved ane.
In that location are just likewise many memories lurking effectually every corner. So if they don't usually come up to visit y'all on Christmas, or if y'all plan to do something untraditional this Christmas, you tin can invite them to come join you.
- I know yous said yous're not interested in celebrating Christmas this year--me neither! What do you call up nearly volunteering at the animal shelter for the day? I'd dearest to see if I tin can find a puppy to adopt.
- Desire to hang out and watch Netflix on Christmas Mean solar day? A lowkey Christmas sounds like only the ticket, and I'd dearest for you to join me.
- I'd similar to do something crazy this Christmas. Want to get to the Bahamas with me? It'd be a fun way to spend Christmas, but the ii of us!
If you lot can't be in that location in person, consider sending them a personalized memorial ornament with the proper name, photo, or their loved one's date of death.
Tips for Maxim "Merry Christmas" to Someone Experiencing Grief In-Person
Coming up with the right affair to say on the spot is hard. Here are some ideas then you lot can plan alee for whatsoever upcoming encounters.
Don't ignore it
Avoidance is tempting. Information technology'south hard to know what to say, specially when you desire to do the correct thing. You tin can't brand it better, but you lot can provide support. This is easier to achieve in a card or email, admittedly. In a conversation, it's difficult to craft each discussion for the right effect. All you tin do is think alee and endeavor your best.
Overall, the most important matter is to not ignore it. Don't gloss over it with cheer and skilful wishes. Y'all both know that everything isn't okay. It's tempting to try to cheer them upwardly, but many people are probably already doing that.
And sometimes, information technology can feel similar everyone is trying to force you to pretend when yous simply tin't. And so do your all-time to acknowledge it. You don't have to be incredibly eloquent. Y'all can say something like, "things seem really rough right now, but I wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas anyway."
You lot can even personalize it, based on what you know near them and their family unit. Was Christmas their loved one'south favorite holiday? If so, you can attempt saying something like, "I know how much your partner enjoyed Christmas, but I still wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas."
With that, you lot're not trying to strength merriment and season's greetings on them. Past simply acknowledging both sides of the same money, you recognize that they're going through a terrible fourth dimension. Information technology's even worse when information technology's during one of the happiest times of the yr for many people. This juxtaposition can be hard to deal with, and you're offering your support through all parts of it.
Perhaps you'd like to recommend some music for them to mind to over the holidays to aid them through the grieving process; consider our list of Christmas songs related to decease and grieving.
Be supportive, not all-knowing
Sometimes, words can't comprehend exactly what you're feeling. When someone is grieving, you're struggling to come upwardly with the most appropriate mode to hope they have the best holiday that they can under the circumstances. You can still pull information technology off, though.
Tin y'all share a relevant anecdote? You can yet mention the Christmas season without being obnoxiously merry well-nigh it. You can reminisce about how their loved one always did a certain matter at Christmas and acknowledge how much yous'll miss them this twelvemonth. This lets your friend or loved one know that they're not alone, and they're not the just ones grieving this vacation season.
You lot can even go for a simpler option. You can say, "I wanted to wish you a merry Christmas, but exercise you mind if I give you a hug?" That can piece of work very well if you're close to someone.
In that location's one trap to watch out for, though. It'due south tempting to say something like "I know what you're going through", or "I know information technology's hard," and close with Christmas wishes. This tin sometimes make things worse. Assuming that you know what someone's going through can be kind of tactless. Grief is such a horrific, all-encompassing experience that it'southward impossible to predict what it feels like. Assuming that you can judge at their hurting may come across as offensive.
Don't give advice
For some people, this is obvious. Sometimes, well-meaning advice can but make things worse. But this applies to common phrases, too.
Have you ever heard someone tell a grieving person to "stay strong for your mom" or "at least they're in a meliorate place" or "at least you yet have your kids?" This is insensitive to someone who is grieving. They don't want to "count their blessings." They know that they're lucky to accept dandy kids, or a supportive spouse to help them through their grief. Only those good things don't serve to minimize the grief that they're coping with.
Sometimes, those phrases come beyond equally a semi-polite way of telling someone to "suck it upwards," which isn't what you want to do at all. Usually, going for informed empathy is the best fashion to communicate how y'all experience to someone else.
Remind Them That They're Not Lone
Finding a way to share holiday wishes with others is a delicate balancing human action. You want to share every bit much cheer as you lot perhaps can considering you know that they're struggling, merely you don't want to overwhelm them.
I of the near isolating feelings that people report on the holidays when they're grieving is that they experience similar they're on an island. Anybody else is celebrating and experiencing the holiday magic, simply they just can't seem to share in the festivities. They're on an island of grief, surrounded by Bing Crosby music and elves. Taking the time to extend a helping mitt and a tactful greeting can make all the difference to remind them that they're supported and loved.
If y'all're looking for more ways to back up a loved i who'southward grieving this vacation flavour, read our guide on how to cope with grief during the holidays.
Source: https://www.joincake.com/blog/how-to-say-merry-christmas-to-someone-who-is-grieving/